The Usual Choices
All the President's Men (Alan J. Pakula)
Bound for Glory (Hal Ashby)
Network (Sidney Lumet)
Rocky (John G. Avildsen)
Taxi Driver (Martin Scorcese)
But how about...
Storm Boy (Henri Safran)
One of the key Australian films of the 1970's renaissance, and one of the best children's films ever made. With gorgeous cinematography, this is the story of a nature boy (not by choice - his father insists) who befriends a wild pelican. Simple, huh? Yep...replace the bird with a dog or a horse, and you've got the plot of at least half a dozen more famous kid movies. But this one is in a more exotic locale (The Coorong), features a kid who isn't particularly cute (therefore is real), has a supporting turn by David Gulpilil of Walkabout fame, and stars a creature that looks like a flying satchel. Give Disney a miss for once and play this for your ankle-biters instead.
...and what about...
The Devil's Playground (Fred Schepisi)
Another one of the key Australian films of the 1970's renaissance. Set in a 1950's boys Catholic school, it's about how all the residents (students and priests) try to exercise sexual restraint while they practise their religious devotion. With only a whiff of you-know-what (unlike the 2014 TV sequel which fronts it head-on), these characters are pitiful jesters, stumbling over their desires of the flesh as pathetically as a gaggle of Benny Hills. While you feel sympathy for them, you may also balk at the stupidity of the religious order which puts them in this unnatural situation in the first place.
...not to mention...
The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (Herbert Ross)
Irresistible: Sherlock Holmes teams up with Sigmund Freud to combat cocaine addiction and rescue a maiden in distress. So many appealing features in this film, it's as if its creators sat down and made a list of treats: quirky and amusing performances by Robert Duvall as Dr Watson and Laurence Olivier as Moriarty; a train chase complete with the old chop-up-the-carriage-for-fuel trick; swordfights and an olde tennis match; hypnosis and a hound dog; beautiful turn-of-the-century Austrian scenery; and little in-jokes dropped throughout like pearls. Great fun.
...and one personal unmentionable...
Murder by Death (Robert Moore)
I thought this was supposed to be funny. Hmm...let's see: Peter Sellers doing his unPC act (this time as a Chinese guy); Alec Guinness in a supporting role doing his straightfaced bit; Maggie Smith doing humorous Maggie Smith; Elsa Lanchester & Estelle Winwood doing a double act; a send-up of great fictional detectives; a send-up of Agatha Christie plotting. All of that has the potential to be funny. But then you've also got non-laughmakers David Niven, Peter Falk, James Coco, Eileen Brennan and James Cromwell; Neil Simon dialogue and situations which are mirthless; first-time film director Robert Moore who stages it like it's staged; and Truman Capote who guest stars but doesn't guest act.
Death is easy. Comedy is hard.
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| "Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Can you do the fandango?" |
My Top 10 Films of 1976
#01 A All the President's Men (Pakula)
#03 A- The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (Ross)
#04 A- Robin and Marian (Lester)
#05 A- Storm Boy (Safran)
#06 A- The Devil's Playground (Schepisi)
#07 A- Taxi Driver (Scorcese)
#08 A- The Shootist (Siegel)
#09 A- The Front (Ritt)
#10 B+ Caddie (Crombie)
Overflow: More A-/B+ Films
#11 B+ The Fourth Wish (Chaffey)
#12 B+ The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (Gessner)
#13 B+ Marathon Man (Schlesinger)
#14 B+ Aces High (Gold)
#15 B+ Next Stop, Greenwich Village (Mazursky)
#16 B+ Shoot (Hart)
#17 B+ Obsession (De Palma)
Sorry, They Didn't Make It...
> B Bound for Glory [I expected more to happen with no muzak versions of Woody music as atmosphere]
> B The Bad News Bears [Grumpy Walter with kids who aren't anywhere near as endearing as they need to be]
> B Stay Hungry [surprisingly lightweight despite the attempted rape and Arnold Schwarzenegger's hillbilly-fiddling]
> B Family Plot [aka Hitchcock's Episode of Barnaby Jones]
> B Network [why is everybody yelling and talking so fast so much?]
> B The Pink Panther Strikes Again [mildly amusing again again]
> B Assault on Precinct 13 [Night of the Living Dead + Rio Bravo = lotsa shooting]
> B King Kong [an adventure film for all the family...but I miss Freud]
> B- The Last Tycoon [Harold Pinter writes another movie script]
> B- Rocky [could've been worse - he could've used his words]
> B- The Eagle Has Landed [plodding pace; muted action: how is that even possible in a war film?]
> B- Logan's Run [how come in 250 years time, sexism is even worse?]
> B- Freaky Friday [always a pleasure to see Barbara Harris; just can't ever believe Jodie Foster was a child]
> B- God Told Me To [cult killers + police procedural + alien abduction + virgin birth + hermaphrodism = too much]
> C The Omen [compared to little kids and dolls, Satan is a wuss]
> C Murder By Death [A Personal Unmentionable]
> D Nickelodeon [the guy who made The Last Picture Show and Paper Moon made this snoozer?]
> D Voyage of the Damned [it's an incredibly long, boring trip...with an all-star cast!]
> D Alice, Sweet Alice [ghastly and clunky slasher flick that doesn't kill off Brooke Shields soon enough]
> D A Star is Born [featuring the worst musical couple since those siamese twins who could fart in key]
> E Mad Dog Morgan [somebody needs to teach the director how to tell a story]
"Ah!..Sweet Mystery of Life...": 1976 Films I Apparently Still Need to See
Baby Blue Marine (Hancock); Birch Interval (Mann); Bugsy Malone (Parker); Don’s Party (Beresford); The Killer Inside Me (Kennedy); Leadbelly (Parks); The Man Who Fell to Earth (Roeg); Massacre at Central High (Daalder); Mikey and Nicky (May); Ode to Billy Joe (Baer); The Outlaw Josey Wales (Eastwood); The Return of a Man Called Horse (Kershner); The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea (Mishima); Silent Movie (Brooks); Silver Streak (Hiller); The Tenant (Polanski)
Best Performances of 1976
Robert De Niro (Taxi Driver)
Faye Dunaway (Network)
Peter Finch (Network)
Jodie Foster (Taxi Driver)
Jason Robards (All the President's Men)
Sissy Spacek (Carrie)
Sylvester Stallone (Rocky)
But how about...
Jodie Foster / Martin Sheen / Alexis Smith in The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane
JODIE: This is her best and most fitting childhood-acting role. She plays a girl who is really just a premature adult, behaviourally, intellectually and, er, in her relationships.
MARTIN: This is his other best (see The Dead Zone 1983) supporting turn in film. The essence of menace and sleaze, he can make you uncomfortable by just smiling.
ALEXIS: This is the only thing I have ever seen her in (the only other film that I can recall is Gentleman Jim) which has impressed me. Hard, vindictive and crystalline, she makes a great bitch. Shame she's not around long.
...and what about...
John Wayne in The Shootist
Even with the slight upping of cussin', this is the perfect last film for John Wayne, and he gives an appropriately iconic performance. Truly heroic, it's his Ride the High Country or Shane. Nothing surprising or legend-ruining (no Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?s for him), John swaggers off the stage without a single stumble in sight. The supporting cast serve the great man with affection and John repays them with respect and gratitude. If only all great actors could pick a final film role to leave the screen with such grace and class.
...not to mention...
Shelley Winters in Next Stop, Greenwich Village
Never could stand Shelley Winters. I applauded when Monty put her out of our misery in A Place in the Sun; I shuddered when she turned The Poseidon Adventure into a camp classic; I suffered through The Diary of Anne Frank when she just wouldn't stop her fat whinging.
Never could stand the cliched Jewish mother character. I applauded when Woody Allen sent her up in his segment of New York Stories; I shuddered when Ruth Gordon was the mother of all mothers in Where's Poppa?; and I suffered through No Way to Treat a Lady when Eileen Heckart did her impersonation of white noise with chicken soup.
In NSGV, Shelley Winters plays a cliched Jewish mother. To perfection. I thoroughly enjoyed the performance. Shelley's best ever. A Jewish mother I can tolerate and maybe even understand. Go figure.
...and one personal unmentionable...
Sylvester Stallone in Rocky
Mumblin' Marlon has a lot of woeful impersonators to answer for, and one of these is Sylvester Stallone in Rocky. Ripped straight out of A Streetcar Named Desire and On the Waterfront, Sly's somnambulistic performance here is all slit-lidded and wet-armpitted pug, but with a mushier, cuddlier centre. He is not admirable, he is not heroic, even when punching beef carcasses or running upstairs, because we know he is going to win the fight and achieve his dreams. And then milk it for five sequels. FIVE. I gotta fly now.
My 10 Favourite Performances of 1976
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| Bobby demonstrates the NRA salute. |
#02 Robert De Niro (Taxi Driver)
#03 Peter Finch (Network)
#04 John Meillon (The Fourth Wish)
#05 Martin Sheen (The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane)
#06 John Wayne (The Shootist)
#07 Shelley Winters (Next Stop, Greenwich Village)
#08 Robert Duvall (The Seven-Per-Cent Solution)
#09 Helen Morse (Caddie)
#10 Robert Redford & Dustin Hoffman (All the President's Men)
Overflow: More List-Worthy Performances
#11 Sean Connery & Audrey Hepburn (Robin and Marian)
#12 Jason Robards (All the President's Men)
#13 Laurence Olivier (Marathon Man)
#14 Alexis Smith (The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane)
#15 Jodie Foster (The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane)
#16 Sally Field (Stay Hungry)
#17 Jacki Weaver (Caddie)
#18 Theresa Russell (The Last Tycoon)
#19 Barbara Harris (Family Plot)
Sorry, They Didn't Make It...
> Faye Dunaway (Network) [brittle, ruthless, frigid - whoever did the casting deserved the Oscar]
> Jodie Foster (Taxi Driver) [now she's a child prostitute...did this kid ever just jump rope and climb a tree?]
And so...onto the annual awards (with a nod of appreciation to Danny Peary)...
The Alternate Oscars for 1976 are:
FILM of the YEAR
GOLD: All the President's Men (Alan J. Pakula)
SILVER: Carrie (Brian De Palma)
BRONZE: The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (Herbert Ross)
LEAD ACTOR: PERFORMANCE of the YEAR
GOLD: Robert De Niro (Taxi Driver)
SILVER: John Meillon (The Fourth Wish)
BRONZE: John Wayne (The Shootist)
LEAD ACTRESS: PERFORMANCE of the YEAR
GOLD: Sissy Spacek (Carrie)
SILVER: Helen Morse (Caddie)
BRONZE: Barbara Harris (Family Plot)
SUPPORTING ACTOR: PERFORMANCE of the YEAR
GOLD: Peter Finch (Network)
SILVER: Robert Duvall (The Seven-Per-Cent Solution)
BRONZE: Martin Sheen (The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane)
SUPPORTING ACTRESS: PERFORMANCE of the YEAR
GOLD: Shelley Winters (Next Stop, Greenwich Village)
SILVER: Alexis Smith (The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane)
BRONZE: Sally Field (Stay Hungry)
ENSEMBLE or PARTNERSHIP: PERFORMANCE of the YEAR
GOLD: Robert Redford & Dustin Hoffman (All the President's Men)
SILVER: Sean Connery & Audrey Hepburn (Robin and Marian)
BRONZE: Cliff Robertson & Genevieve Bujold (Obsession)
JUVENILE: PERFORMANCE of the YEAR
GOLD: Jodie Foster (The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane)
SILVER: Simon Burke (The Devil's Playground)
BRONZE: Jackie Earle Haley (The Bad News Bears)
The Alternate Razzies for 1976 are:
CRAP FILM of the YEAR
Mad Dog Morgan (Philippe Mora)
CRAP MALE PERFORMANCE of the YEAR
Dennis Hopper (Mad Dog Morgan)
CRAP FEMALE PERFORMANCE of the YEAR
Jodie Foster (Taxi Driver)
